Leven en werken van de Kabouter PDF Å en werken van

Abrams launched Gnomes into the hearts of Americans in 1977 and quickly racked up astrognomic sales in bookstores across the country ultimately achieving a 62 week run on the New York Times best seller list Come join in the 20th anniversary fun as gnomania strikes againDid you know that gnome couples always have twin children? Or that a gnome is seven times as strong as a human? Do you want to hear some gossip from the gnome who knew Rembrandt? Dutch artist Rien Poortvliet's charming illustrations and physician Wil Huygen's detailed observations of the gnomes' habits anatomy and lifestyle are a delight for readers of all ages Children will adore the gnome family's underground home and the constant interaction with animals adults will appreciate the tongue in cheek scientific data Gnomebody is immune to the gnomes' tremendous appeal and a whole new generation is waiting to love them for the first time


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    This is one of my stranger and embarrassing talesFor some bizarre reason gnomes are a recurring theme in my life Someone gave me this book the month I was getting married I thought the gnome man and woman were cute ad I bought a gnome man and woman as our wedding cake toppers For our thank you notes after the wedding I bought a postcard of a gnome couple sitting by the side of a lake fishing The cake topper couple disappeared the night of the wedding and I have never seen them since Not surprising there were 400 people at our wedding and it lasted four daysWell like most marriages one thing lead to another and before you know it I was contemplating whether to smother him with a pillow or leave I opted for the legal thing Now here is where it gets weird Like most couples we registered for wedding gifts We received some china silver and crystal stem ware I left him most of the china and silver taking just one place setting of each as a token rememberence I also had some silver that my family gave me My ex started to act progressively weirder as our divorce dragged on custody court etc etc really long story and at one point I wound up basically winning the legal disputes we were having During this time I had a friend of my sister's living with me helping me out with my daughter who was 4 at the time She was an older woman and extremely New Agey woo woo She told me that she had had a vision that my ex was possessed by the spirit of a gnome whose name was Hairy Tuff so not making that up She said that he continued to have power over me because of the gold and other precious metals he had given me One day my ex was visiting and saw inside my china cabinet the set of silver ware I had from our wedding He literally started jumping up and down his face turning bright red screaming at me Thief Thief He insisted that the silver was his and he wanted it backNow my ex husband is kinda short has a pot belly and is balding on top with Einstein like tufts of hair that stick out on the side He is also going grey and has a goatee and mustache I can't say he looks like the Travelocity gnome but he is definitely gnome like And jumping up and down like that I kept thinking oh my god it's RumplestiltskinAfter this incident my wacko roommate convinced me that what I had to do to sever his hold over me was to take all the gold he had given me and bury it in the yard giving it back to the gnome spirits Then he would have no power any Being newly sober and kinda stupid and impressionable I did as she suggested I took my wedding band my diamond engagement ring a gold bracelet and watch and buried them in the yard at night chanting a little giving back ritual over themA few years later I had become best friends with a Jewish American Princess from Queens When I told her the story she spit out her food and yelled at me You did WHAT with diamonds??? ARE YOU INSANE?????So we got it into our heads that we would go back to my old house and dig up the stuff I had buried Now the house was now rented to a young couple with a brand new baby Because we were already out and about shopping and stuff we were dressed in mini skirts fishnets nice blouses and heels It was raining We showed up at this woman's door and asked her if it would be okay if we dug something up out of her yard that I was the former tenent and I had buried my dead dog's ashes out under the tree She looked at us like we were insane and said uhm okaySo we proceeded to dig In the rain In our skirts and pumps But of course I couldn't really remember EXACTLY where I had buried the stuff It had been dark It was somewhere NEAR the tree On a hillside Where there were other trees That were all kind of the sameishWe dug for four hoursIn the rainEventually the woman's husband came home and was like uhm whatcha lookin for? We told him my dog's ashes He said really? Cuz it kind of looks like you're looking for a dead body or something Heh heh heh nervously We couldn't really argue with him I'm sure it must have looked well oddWe never did find the damned jewelry To this day my best friend loves to point at lawn gnomes as say pssst Charissa it's looking at youI say the gnomes took that gold I say it's why I won the court case and why no matter how hard the man tries he has never had any power over me since then I say digging in the rain in mini skirts is FUN goddamn it I say please pass my medicationFunny thing is now my dad sort of looks like one of those damn lawn gnomes He has a red woolen cap he wears in the winter with his Santa beard and his enormous pot belly I tell you the gnomes are after me They haunt me It's okay though they already have my gold what can they possibly take?